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Choose joy. Say no more often.

August 27, 2024
By Janina Kallio


Cloud Gazing shawl pattern from Woolenberry

How many times have you found yourself knee-deep in commitments you never really wanted to make?

We’ve been conditioned to say yes to everything—yes to more tasks, more social commitments, more obligations—while our own needs get pushed to the bottom of the list.

So you said yes because you didn’t want to disappoint others or rock the boat.

But here’s the truth: every time you say yes to something you don’t want, you’re saying no to yourself.

Saying no isn’t about being difficult or selfish—it’s about knowing your worth. You don’t owe anyone a yes. Your time, energy, and focus are yours to protect. No one else can do that for you.

The power of saying no lies in this: it gives you back control and puts you in the driver’s seat. It’s a radical act of self-respect. No more people-pleasing, no more guilt-tripping yourself into commitments that drain you.

When you say no, you’re also setting a standard for others. Your no can be a wake-up call. It reminds people that they can say no, too. That they don’t have to drown in commitments that don’t serve them.

Your no empowers others to take back their time and live on their own terms. That’s a powerful message in a world that glorifies overextending ourselves.

Next time you’re asked to take on something you’re not feeling 100% excited about, try this:

  1. Pause. Give yourself a moment before responding.
  2. Check in with your gut. Does this bring you closer to your joy, or pull you away from it?
  3. Practice your ‘no.’ You don’t owe long-winded explanations. A simple, “I’m not available for that, but thank you for thinking of me” is all it takes.

 

So go ahead, embrace your inner boundary-setter and make more room for what brings you joy.

You’ve got this.

P.S. Ready for more joy? Download the Cloud Gazing shawl knitting pattern and start saying yes to what lights you up.

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